Where There’s Light

EPSON MFP image

Sometimes I think the powers that be are smart asses.

When I was a kid I loved to draw.  The first thing I ever drew was a field mouse from a fairy tale I can’t remember. I do remember the field mouse though. I remember how natural it felt to draw and that the end result didn’t stink.

I drew in high school, and, while my work will never be mistaken for a great master’s, I could make a tree look like a tree.  I had a few fantasies about art school, but, because I lacked the courage to forge my own path at the time,  they never went beyond fantasies.

Then a few years ago, I fell back into drawing.  And I can still make a tree look like a tree.  And this time, I have had the courage to keep forging ahead and keeping it part of my life.

And then the powers that be said, “Hah!”

June brought news of a degenerative disorder in my right eye.  The left eye, not wanting to be left out of the regular poking and prodding the right one now gets, decided over the weekend to join the party.

Part of me wondered if the great guardian of good art in the sky was trying to tell me something.  At first I though it might be trying to protect the world from my doodles.  It might be, but, over the last few years, I’ve developed a stronger ability to ignore the inner critic who whispers these possibilities in my ear.

So as I drove back today, thinking about adaptive devices and getting my 4th lens prescription in 6 months,  I decided to find  a more positive message in the diagnosis.   It’s the message that says to make hay – or doodles of hay for as long as the sun finds away into my lenses; to make every moment for as long it’s possible.

The future did get a bit cloudier today, but sometimes things are clearer without the white hot sun shining on them.  So as long as there’s any light – clouded or clear, I will focus on what is possible now and not on what might not be possible down the road.

 

4 Comments

  • Jan Reuther

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m glad you can be positive about it, but I hope you allow yourself some time to grieve for your physical loss (OK…wallow a bit in self pity!). Your cartoons are so very much worth continuing to do. I love that you share your sense of humor with us.

  • Lacy

    I am wishing you the very best….keep moving forward, you have a great deal to offer. Your Art is very good….it needs an audience. Thank you for sharing, Lacy

  • virginia in CA

    Must agree with Jan R. I feel grief for you and such admiration for your brillance. You are truly a gem Rachel. Your ability to express yourself writing is every bit as clever as you cartoons. You and Maria Wulf have a lot in common. Art/ written words / Art…oh there is such pleasure in both. Thank you Rachel. I love what you wrote about drawing since a kid. I could totally relate. I feel such a kinship. xo

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